Life Is Just 30,000 Days: Forgive Yourse

Life Is Just 30,000 Days: Forgive Yourself to Meet the Best Version of You

 

I once came across a set of figures in a book: calculated based on an average life expectancy of 80 years, life is only a short 29,200 days. If you do the math, after deducting the ignorant childhood and the frail old age, the time we can truly control is actually surprisingly limited. However, in these limited days, we always waste too much time on anxiety—dwelling on the regrets of yesterday, worrying about the uncertainties of tomorrow, yet completely forgetting to embrace every moment of the present.

 

A while ago, I met up with a friend. She held her coffee cup and sighed, saying she was always drowning in regret: she didn't work hard enough for the postgraduate entrance exam during her student days, missed a promotion opportunity at work due to hesitation, and even kept replaying a quarrel she had with her family the previous week, wondering if she had spoken too harshly. "It feels like I'm always struggling with the past, and I'm also afraid of falling behind others in the future. I toss and turn all night and can't sleep, feeling completely drained by my emotions." Her words are just like the daily life of most of us: we keep focusing on what we haven't got, clinging to the regrets that have already happened, trapping ourselves in invisible chains, yet forgetting that life has never had a "perfect script" in the first place.

 

I recall last summer, I fell into a long period of self-denial because of a mistake in a project. I kept thinking, "If only I had been more careful back then" or "If I had communicated clearly with the team in advance, this mistake wouldn't have happened." I even didn't dare to look my colleagues in the eye and put aside my favorite activity—hiking. Until one day, when I chatted with my grandfather, he pointed at the old locust tree in the yard and said, "Look at this tree. It sprouts in spring, blooms in summer, and sheds leaves in autumn. It never stops growing new branches just because it didn't bear good fruits last year, nor does it stop taking root for fear of the frost in winter. People are just like this tree; we have to look forward."

 

Grandfather's words woke me up. The past that can't be changed is like the leaves that have fallen to the ground—no matter how much you regret it, they can never return to the branches. The distant expectations that are out of reach are like the clouds hanging in the sky—no matter how hard you chase them, you can never hold their shape. We always think that "not forgiving ourselves" is being responsible for ourselves, but we forget that "mental friction" is the biggest waste of life. When you dwell on the mistakes of yesterday, the time of today is slipping away; when you worry about the uncertainty of tomorrow, the happiness of the present is fading away.

 

Later, I tried to adjust my mindset: when I made a mistake, I summarized the experience instead of blaming myself repeatedly; when the goal was too far away, I split it into small steps instead of being overwhelmed by pressure. On weekends, I went running in the park, watching the morning light filter through the leaves and onto the ground, listening to the sound of the wind blowing past my ears. Suddenly, I realized how relaxed life could be when I stopped overthinking and feeling anxious. Gradually, my work made new progress, I laughed more when spending time with friends, and even my overall state became more at ease.

 

In fact, nothing in life is that big of a deal. No one's path is always smooth, and no one's life is without regrets. We don't have to be afraid to get up just because we fell once, don't have to change our pace just because of others' opinions, and even less have to take "perfection" as a goal that must be achieved. Forgiving yourself doesn't mean giving up on making efforts; it means learning to reconcile with yourself—accepting your imperfections, allowing small regrets in life, and focusing more energy on the present that you can change, rather than the past that can never be undone.

 

Look at those people who truly live a calm and composed life. It's not that they have no troubles, but that they know how to "travel light": they accept regrets when they come, adjust their expectations when they fail, don't struggle with themselves, and don't be resentful towards life. They understand that the meaning of life has never been "being the best," but "becoming better"—growing a little more today than yesterday, being a little happier tomorrow than today, and that is already a wonderful life.

 

Life is just 30,000 days, and each day is a unique gift. Don't let regrets hold you back, and don't let anxiety steal your happiness. Try to forgive yourself: forgive the imperfect version of yourself, let go of those unrealistic expectations, and with a light heart, feel the morning light and evening breeze, and embrace the people around you and the things in the present. You will find that when you learn to reconcile with yourself, the more calm and excellent version of you is already waiting for you ahead.