What You Only Understand When You Turn 3

What You Only Understand When You Turn 30: Don't Put on a "High-Minded" Act When Young—Reason Is the Bottom Line for Adults

 

The phrase "Don't put on a 'high-minded' act when you're young" sounds straightforward, yet it carries the profound insight of those who've been through life. In our youth, we often see "desire" as a label to be restrained; we sneer at the "wants" of the mundane world and wholeheartedly pursue pure "liking." But once we've experienced real life, seen more of the world, and looked back, we realize that the so-called "desire" is nothing more than this—it's wanting a more stable life, wanting recognized value, and wanting the people we care about to live well. The "reality" we once deliberately avoided has instead become a teacher that teaches us to grow.

 

This is especially true for men turning 30: "telling the difference between 'liking' and 'wanting'" becomes a mandatory lesson. Liking is an emotional preference—like fancying a watch that's over your budget, or craving an impromptu trip. But wanting is a rational trade-off; it's knowing that right now, you need to first provide your family with stable security, and understanding that the responsibilities on your shoulders matter more than a momentary impulse. No longer mistaking "recklessness" for individuality, and no longer using "high-mindedness" to hide from reality—this is true maturity.

 

More importantly, at 30, you must learn to "say no to impulsiveness" and understand that reason is the bottom line for adults. When we were young, we thought "avenging grievances on the spot" was cool, and we often let our emotions guide our actions. But by this age, we finally understand: true strength isn't about seeking instant gratification; it's about keeping your composure when it counts—for example, no longer resolving work conflicts with arguments, or clearly knowing your boundaries when facing temptations in life. Not being swept away by emotions, not being controlled by desires, and using reason to hold onto your own pace—this is the best way to take control of life.

 

In fact, growing up is never about becoming worldly; it's about gradually learning to "live with clarity": acknowledging the existence of desire without being controlled by it, retaining the passion for what you like while understanding the need to work hard for the life you want. The threshold of 30 Years old is more like a reminder: stop using "pretending to be high-minded" to cover up immaturity. Learn to balance ideals and reality with reason, and you'll be able to live a more steady and calm life.