Three Life Algorithms that Truly Drive Ordinary People to Become Stronger

Three Life Algorithms that Truly Drive Ordinary People to Become Stronger

 The experiences of the strong and the weak are so different that everyone admires, follows the strong, and secretly hopes to become strong. However, the founder of Bridgewater Associates said, "I have met countless people, and no successful person is innately talented." Most strong people gradually become stronger in the process of growth. So how can ordinary people become stronger? Here are three life algorithms.

I. Face Reality and Gain Black Resilience

Humans have a tendency to self - beautify. In order to make themselves look better, they often don't want to admit their own shortcomings and instead make up various reasons to cover them up. For example, in daily life, we often hear various self - beautifying "experiences" such as "If I find a girlfriend, everything will be okay", "If my husband changes his mind, everything will be okay", "If I get along well with my boss, everything will be okay", etc. To some extent, this kind of "self - beautification" is a psychological protection mechanism that helps us reduce the pressure of life. But in the long run, it will make people unable to recognize reality, dare not face their own problems, and thus lose the motivation to improve themselves.

Klein's theory in psychology points out that there are two special positions in our psychology: the PS position (paranoid - schizoid position) and the D position (depressive position). The PS position is like Photoshop. That is to say, in this position, people will beautify (PS) the "painful truth" into a form that they can accept. For example, they are not willing to face the "painful truth" of failure, so they beautify it into "I didn't have time to review. If I had time to review, I would be no worse than others". The D position is the depressive position. In the D position, you have to face the "truth", and the truth is usually bloody, making you feel uncomfortable, unhappy, or even painful. In order to get rid of this situation and gain freedom, you will keep thinking and then fall into "depression". It is also in the D position that you begin to wake up, face your own weaknesses, loneliness, fear, and other deficiencies, and take a series of actions to get out of the quagmire of difficulties and transform.

Compared with the self - protection in the PS position, the process of being reborn from the ashes is painful. You will be constantly crushed by pain and fall into the "darkest moment" of your life, but then you will constantly fight back against the pain. In this process of mutual struggle, you will gain a more powerful vitality - black resilience. According to the definition in MBA Library Encyclopedia, black resilience refers to the strength shown by those who have experienced great stress, adversity, or trauma and survived. Many celebrities and enterprises have had similar experiences. Yu Minhong almost died after being hospitalized due to drinking with others. Alibaba once faced bankruptcy. Ma Huateng once wanted to sell QQ. "Every outstanding person has a darkest moment", which is the underlying logic of becoming strong. Only in the D position will people think, see through many illusions in life, and become strong. For example, when the author was submitting articles, he was rejected every time, feeling extremely painful and almost giving up writing several times. But after careful preparation, he finally got his article accepted, not only earning the contribution fee but also gaining positive feedback and confidence in writing.

II. Strong Culture, Follow Objective Laws

A strong culture is a culture that follows objective laws. Concepts such as the law of quantitative and qualitative change, the compound interest effect, and long - termism belong to this cultural system. There is a line in the TV drama "The Way of Heaven": "There are three levels to see through society: technology, system, and culture. From an individual to a country or a nation, any kind of destiny is ultimately the product of that cultural attribute. A strong culture makes the strong, and a weak culture makes the weak. This is the law."

Taking "Liu Bing" as a representative, the weak culture refers to those people who just want to sit back and enjoy the benefits, waiting, relying, and asking for things, without relying on their own efforts. They don't learn even when opportunities come and always want to obtain something by extraordinary means, eventually bringing about their own downfall. Taking "Xiao Yawen" as a representative, the strong culture means people who speak with strength, have vision, dare to fight, and know how to take advantage of the situation, and finally achieve a life turnaround and class leap. Xiao Yawen's life algorithm for becoming strong is as follows:

1. Self - awareness and Strength - based Approach: When Xiao Yawen met her boss Ding Yuanying in the private equity fund company, instead of using her beauty or showing the weakness of a woman to gain pity, she was willing to be Ding Yuanying's "tool person" with her solid professional ability, thus winning the respect, recognition, and appreciation of her boss.

2. Unique Cognition and Key Connections: "Knowing this person is like opening a window. You can see different things, hear different voices, and it can make you think and realize. That's enough. There are many other things, such as opportunities and help, which I'm not sure about. This may not be important in the eyes of ordinary people, but I know this person is very important." She believes that different voices, thinking, and realization are more important than concrete things like money, houses, and cars, which reflects her unique cognitive sequence. Ren Zhengfei said, "The greatest luck for a person is not finding money or winning a lottery. It's the day when you meet someone who breaks your original thinking, improves your cognition, and then raises your realm, leading you to a higher platform." Subsequently, Xiao Yawen relied on Ding Yuanying to move to a higher stage. And her way of maintaining this key connection is also very clever. After the private equity fund company disbanded, as a "tool person", she actually no longer had utilitarian value. The clever thing is that she understood the boss's needs and took advantage of her own resource advantages. She entrusted her policewoman alumni Rui Xiaodan to rent a house for Ding Yuanying in the ancient city and take care of his solitary life in the name of friendship. Renowned business consultant Liu Run once said, "Those who can help you are not your connections. Only those you can help are your connections." Xiao Yawen won high - level connections and changed her fate by providing her own value.

3. Boldness and Decision - making, Seizing Opportunities: As a small poverty - alleviation company, when Gesangwu faced a lawsuit from the audio giant Lesheng Company and several partners did not see any chance of winning, Xiao Yawen, relying on her own knowledge, boldly and decisively invested in Gesangwu Company at her own risk. She used her legal knowledge to defeat Lesheng Group in the lawsuit,promte the cooperation between the two sides, and became the chairman of the company, achieving a gorgeous transformation.

III. Extreme Professionalism, Break through the Barriers

When we are in a weak position and lack resources around us, we should focus on one point and achieve the ultimate. Cai Tong, a well - known Zhihu user, wrote in "Self - improvement": "For young people with an average educational background, lack of professional skills, no hope of relying on their parents, and being confused and anxious about their future, under the condition of scarce resources, the only thing they can do is to gather their limited resources (time, energy, money, and even courage) and invest them in doing one thing. Concentrate on doing one thing well, even if this thing seems extremely insignificant."

Many people have achieved success through this path, such as Li Qingheng, a delivery guy in Hangzhou who was widely reported a few years ago; Lei Haiwei, a takeout delivery guy who defeated a literature master from Peking University and won the poetry competition; Luo Yonghao, who entered the technology industry to start a business again, and so on. They had poor starting resources, even very bad. But through their efforts, they became outstanding in their industries or even across industries. Chen Jiru wrote in "A Record of Small Windows in Leisure Time": "Any skill can make one famous in the world." Especially in the Internet era, everyone has a stage to show themselves. As someone said, "In this era, there is no such thing as being unrecognized for one's talent. The self - media in this world is already sufficient to carry any form of talent. But the key is that you must really have talent." As long as you have real ability, money will follow you.

The real world follows the law of the jungle, and only the strong have freedom and the right to speak. Milan Kundera, the author of "The Unbearable Lightness of Being", said, "Once a person is intoxicated by their own weakness, they will continue to be weak, and will fall on the street, on the ground, in a place even lower than the ground under the eyes of everyone." May we all become strong, stand bravely, keep moving forward on the path of life, and realize our self - value.